It’s Thursday morning. Spent all of last weekend in San Antonio on a girl’s weekend with my mom, sister, aunt, and some other lovely ladies. Worked the beginning of the week squeezing what used to be a 5 day work-week into 2 days (I was out Sunday). Drove to Dallas Tuesday night, got to campus and went to bed. Up early on Wednesday to read for class, and go to class for 7.5 hours, wrote a paper, and attempted to be social (which really just looks like me eating and nodding…or being incredibly grouchy…I’m grouchy this week). And now it’s Thursday. I usually get to the library early and get as much work as possible done all day. I have a spiritual formation group at 1:30 and a class from 6-9 but I spend the rest of the day reading or writing or whatever other work I have. But it’s Thursday morning and all I have managed so far is a shower, a trip to Starbucks where I chugged a double shot of espresso and watched Netflix on my laptop, and now I am in the library in a comfy chair with my feet propped up on a table (possibly not supposed to be doing that) reading some stuff I found online last week. So…a productive morning to be sure.
I am certain you have had days like that. When the work of your life just doesn’t seem to compare to the sweet, sweet idea of doing…nothing. When you need to drink a cup of coffee and just troll around online. Or take a long walk outside. Or read a book you’ve been neglecting. Or whatever your thing is.
To be sure, the work of our lives is just that- work. Whether it’s a job someone pays you for, a ministry you feel called to, a tiny human (or humans) who you are caring for and raising, volunteering for a cause you feel passionate about, or whatever it is, the things that we dedicate ourselves to can sometimes become overwhelming.
It is a joy to have work to set your mind and your might to but it doesn’t mean that you don’t have times when your brain is tired and your body is worn out.
Today is that day for me. And yes I will still drag myself to class. Truthfully, once I get there I will probably really enjoy it because my professor is SO SMART and I love hearing what he says about New Testament interpretation. But all that other stuff I would normally be doing this morning…I’m going to forget about it and forgive myself. Maybe after lunch I’ll feel up to it. Maybe it won’t be till tomorrow or Saturday or Sunday. But most likely it’ll be later this afternoon when I’ve let myself take a break for a while. Cause sometimes you need to take a break. Yes the work you do is important but it’s not more important than you. There is always someone who can pick up your slack for a while. Someday you’ll be that person for someone else. Forget about it for right now and forgive yourself. And then get back to it tomorrow. Or Saturday. Or next week.
Because you aren’t valuable for the work you do but simply because you exist.
You don’t have to do anything today to earn your spot in the world. Right now you can breath and it’ll be ok. Seriously…it will. Promise. It might not feel like it but it really will.
Forget it and forgive yourself. Hang in there! If I can pray for you today I would LOVE to do that. Just comment or message me!